A new day

A new day, a new dawn as the saying goes. Well, i am slowly learning how this blog thing is going. So far no comments or followings but that is okay. I am using this more as a journal to my life as it is right now. I can look back and know that i have had the case of the Good, the Bad and the Ugly times of my life.

So i have decided to get off my butt and stop being sorry for myself(again) and start my own small business of a second hand book store. Ambrosia Second Hand Books will become a reality and I will push forward, however slow it may start. Rome was not built in a day so neither is my bookstore.  I have also gone and made a veg and herb garden for myself. Nothing like good ole back breaking, manual labour to bring things back into perspective again. I have to keep remembering that only I can make myself happy and not others. The fact that i have hit the Peri menopause stage of my life doesn't help at all. Moods and flame on's and hot flushes are just soooo not in.... then there is the might brain fog that i have.

So, my new resolution (again) is to make myself happy and not depend on others to do it for me and to keep pushing forward with the books selling and my veggie garden.

Captain of our own destiny, time to put the words into action and this time not fall on my own face due to my own making.....

EISH!!!!!

New adventure

I have finally lifted my but and done it. Always spoke if starting a business of my own.  I have always love books and reading and spoke of opening up a book store. Well now I went ahead and started it.

Googled on how to open a business without money and blam this was one of them. So now I am the proud owner of Ambrosia Second Hand book store. Currently in the collection process and working out of the garage for the time being. Have had enquiries but yet to sell my first book.

So I am excited about the whole concept of being a business owner. I know that there is a long road ahead so with a deep breath I will forge forth and slay the dragons ahead.

Wish me well all ye plebs out there.

Writing

Writing and reading should go hand in hand one would think. But nope, nada it sure doesn't, well not with me, anyway. But I do want to write a novel of some sorts. So far I have tried my hand at Poetry (not good at all), a fiction novel based on my life (depressing)so shelved it.

Now I will try to write about the funny and humorous side of my life, which has quite a large amount of material to work from. So taking a page out of Erma Bombeck's books and here we go....
Now just to put the thoughts into words.

What with being a mother of 3 boys, plenty pets and just plain abundance of good work stories I should be able to write something decent.

Dreams on hold again.

Sitting here feeling frustrated with my life right now. I feel lost and unsure of things at the moment. I know the saying of if you don't like your life change it but sometimes it's a bit hard to change if you are dependent on a person. I am trying hard to smile and change my attitude but am really feeling deflated and to an extent feel "robbed" of what I really wanted to do.

In my heart of hearts I want to travel and see the country and the world. But it means finances and that I don't have anymore. Here I sit again being sucked into a domestic life.

I had that for over 26 years and now I want to live my life the way I want. Now I am back to square one again. This is not how I want to live. Broken dreams again. Put on hold for what.....because of my own stupidity of letting a man take from me again.

I have not learnt a bloody thing it seems. Surely there is more to life than this. Stranded like a fool of my own making. I have an urgent need to experience new and different and exciting things. Life is getting short and I have sow much more I want to experience and learn and see.

All put on hold for what? Fustration at its peak... anybody out there who can hear my cries.....

Tattoos

Lets talk tattoos......

I was raised that tattoos were EVIL and disgusting.... that it was a desecration of the body, of God's Temple. Henceforth, I always thought that those who had tattoos were not very nice people, that they were all scary and bad. So, I did the same with my sons.... I threatened them with certain DEATH should they ever even think of coming home and saying "hey Mom, check out my tattoo."

So all it was with them was talk, of how they would just get one.It shows you how ignorant one can be, how closed and narrow minded the previous generation was. Or rather how we were taught and how we carry on the tradition with our kids. Needless to say, that has all changed. My outlook in life has taken a drastic change. What caused that change, you wonder..... But believe it or not but a cheating husband did that and opened my eyes to the real world around me.

I had seperated from my now ex and started to realise that I had been living a lie my whole life. I was not the person I should be but what everyone else wanted me to be.... My eyes had been opened, the scales had fallen from them....

And what was one of the first things I went and did...... Yes, I went and got myself a TATTOO..... a small and meaningful one that is private. And yes, I am a Christian woman as well.... I had prayed over it and was never convicted.

So, I get home afterwards and show my sons that I went and did what I had always told them not to..... Yip you can imagine the reaction....... The horror of the fact that I went and had it done.... BEFORE any of them could do it.......

But yes, people judge way too quickly especially if they see a person with ink on them. To me it must have a meaning to it. Not a frivolous marking that you will regret later on in life. Think well before you decide to do it as it is for life. To those that ink there whole body, well, that is their own choosing and most of the time every single ink has a meaning to them.

My middle son has since gone out and had 2 tattoos. One is a huge heart tree on his back ( which was very sore) and is stunning, the other is also a personal one on his inner arm with the words and writing of his beloved late granny.

So yes, one needs to realise that not every person with a tattoo is evil and nasty, they have meaning, whether sentimental or inspirational a tattoo is a piece of themselves that they are putting on display for the world (or like me in private).

As to desecration the Temple of God (our body), I think one needs to realise that the times have changed and folk should not take the Bible and the Word so literally. To me it is a guideline on how to live, to inspire and to take wisdom from. I still feel no condemnation over my tattoo and I know that the Good Man Upstairs loves me and knows why I needed to do it. He is a Gracious God not a condemning One. And folk should not throw stones in glass houses I always say.

Find out what the person is like under the skin and not judge by the outer appearance. You will be pleasantly surprised at what you find.

So cold!

Back to reality time it seems...why can't a person stay in the peace and tranquility of Nature. 

Sitting in the Dr's room with a sick grandchild and looking around at the others sitting and waiting as well. All seem lost in thought, the occasional sniff or cough exploding into the silence of the room. Winter is arriving in full force it would seem.

I am bundled up in boots,  thick socks, scarf and jacket. I am NOT a winter person at all. Give me the warmth of the sun. Now I am like a lizard scuttling from one sun spot to another. If I could hibernate like the bears I would. Ok so I would admit that winter is nice for hot chocolate and blankets.  But oh how the ice cold air creeps into the bones now.

And when my feet are cold I am cold right through.

Nope give me Spring and Summer please!

Morning musing

My second last day here in the wine lands before I head back up to the dusty, beige town I now call home. Sitting here with my cuppa Honeybush and watching how the sun is taking hold of Table Mountain and the sleepy towns surrounding it. The morning mist lays like a thin blanket over most of the houses.

The sounds of life filtering up towards me.  It has been a good and relaxing 2 weeks. Filled with good food,  good wine and a birth of a new life. Nothing like it. But all good things need to end sometime just to give the body a recovery time... well mine needs it. Guess it's back to the gym for me next week to work off all the chocolate fondants, the Peacan tarts with clotted cream , the rich pastas, breakfasts of Eggs Benedict and not to forget all about the other yummy goodies.

Sitting here listening to the birds chattering and the ducks laughing as if they know what lays ahead for me. Back to reality it seems.....  but I shall not grumble over it at all as I shall attempt new things back home. I have a pottery lesson to plan (not a creative bone in my body, paint by numbers to try and a herb and veggie garden to plan.

So let's see what this day brings forth.....onward and upwards time.